The Twelve Days of Crisis

On the first day of Crisis the markets sold to me
A sub-prime bankruptcy.

On the second day of Crisis the markets sold to me
Two structured notes
and a sub-prime bankruptcy.

On the third day of Crisis the markets sold to me
Three French funds
Two structured notes
and a sub-prime bankruptcy.

On the fourth day of Crisis the markets sold to me
Foreclosure loans
Three French funds
Two structured notes
and a sub-prime bankruptcy.

On the fifth day of Crisis the markets sold to me
$500 gold calls
Foreclosure loans
Three French funds
Two structured notes
and a sub-prime bankruptcy.

On the sixth day of Crisis the markets sold to me
Six fleeced investors
$500 gold calls
Foreclosure loans
Three French funds
Two structured notes
and a sub-prime bankruptcy.

On the seventh day of Crisis the markets sold to me
Seven ‘bonds’ accruing
Six fleeced investors
$500 gold calls
Foreclosure loans
Three French funds
Two structured notes
and a sub-prime bankruptcy.

On the eighth day of Crisis the markets sold to me
Eight salesmen bilking
Seven ‘bonds’ accruing
Six fleeced investors
$500 gold calls
Foreclosure loans
Three French funds
Two structured notes
and a sub-prime bankruptcy.

On the ninth day of Crisis the markets sold to me
LBO refinancing
Eight salesmen bilking
Seven ‘bonds’ accruing
Six fleeced investors
$500 gold calls
Foreclosure loans
Three French funds
Two structured notes
and a sub-prime bankruptcy.

On the tenth day of Crisis the markets sold to me
Hedge fund Boards all leaving
LBO refinancing
Eight salesmen bilking
Seven ‘bonds’ accruing
Six fleeced investors
$500 gold calls
Foreclosure loans
Three French funds
Two structured notes
and a sub-prime bankruptcy.

On the eleventh day of Crisis the markets sold to me
Over-hyped underwritings
Hedge fund Boards all leaving
LBO refinancing
Eight salesmen bilking
Seven ‘bonds’ accruing
Six fleeced investors
$500 gold calls
Foreclosure loans
Three French funds
Two structured notes
and a sub-prime bankruptcy.

On the twelfth day of Crisis the markets sold to me
Central banks succumbing
Over-hyped underwritings
Hedge fund Boards all leaving
LBO refinancing
Eight salesmen bilking
Seven ‘bonds’ accruing
Six fleeced investors
$500 gold calls
Foreclosure loans
Three French funds
Two structured notes
and a sub-prime bankruptcy.

..all of which does omit, of course, “hysterical overblown relief rallies by equities”; “a craven capitulation on the part of monetary authorities to Wall Street’s narrower interests”; “disconcerting weakness at the long end of bond markets”; “rising inflationary pressure”; “the dangerous vulnerability of retailers to deteriorating consumer spending”; “flimsy fiat currencies”; “a scary succession of non-American national property markets waiting to soften, including but not necessarily limited to Australia, Belgium, Britain, Denmark, France, Ireland, Italy, Spain and Sweden”; and “defensive investing becoming paramount” – but then none of these coinages is particularly susceptible to rhyme.

Comments

[D. Wayne]

Wow! What a run! Nice pick-up on "12 days."

[axa verzekering]

This report presented as a
rhyme nicely summarizes the financial meltdown.Thanks for this chain of data and I hope these figures are reliable.